You're Not a Very Good Logan
by Sum1cooler
Summary: But you are my perfect James. Kames fluff with a bit of cargan. James POV, K rated


Logan has the swag, James has a lab coat and I have a thing for people in lab coats… -.-' Sorry my nerd is showing.

I hope you enjoy this kames. And sorry for any mistakes/typos. I'll fix it tonight but for now **THE EMMY'S**! =]

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

I hate Logan with every single Cuda treated strand of hair on my perfect head. Him and his stupid brain and his awesome hair and his skinny legs. Man! The guy is freaking perfect. The way he combs his hair with his left hand and the way he is leaning on the table. What is he? A Kendall magnet? No freaking way! Ever since he downloaded that swag app, this nerd has been stealing my swag and he is stealing MY BOYFRIEND!

"No, Kendall. The answer is D." Logan says, follow by an extremely long explain that I have no understanding of. And why would I need to? X times X does not equal my beautiful hair, so who cares if the alphabet is not only for English but for math too? Sadly, my boyfriend does.

"Oh, that makes sense. Thanks Logan." He answers. From my angle, (and I don't care what is the degree of my angle) Kendall's lips are so close to Logan. It makes me sick. I fake gag and throwing up faces but Kendall doesn't notice me. What a loving boyfriend he is, isn't he? "And if I do a double integration from 3 to 4 and 4 to 6, I should get the same answer."

"That's right." Logan shrieks, eyes bugging out with his hand patting Kendall's back, the back only I get to touch. _GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND!_ "Hey Kendall, do you mind if I go early? I have a date with Carlos and I want to look good for him." Logan points to the clock with his head. _Loser. You point with a finger, not your head. _

"No problem. I think I can handle the rest of the problems." Kendall waves his hand, signaling Logan to go and have a merry time with his Latino slice of goodness. Which is reason number two of why I hate him, he is a player and flirt. _Why hit on my Kendall? You have Carlos_. Humph, I scoff into the seat cushion.

"Thanks Kendall!" Logan jumps to his room, and locks the door.

Finally, the nerd is gone and out of my life… for the rest of the night at least. I hate how Kendall is so close with him. Isn't being my boyfriend enough? I got the swag. I got the hair. Frankly, I got everything except for his brain, but that doesn't matter. The brain is only what two pounds? Ten pounds max and I am, well let's just say the brain is less than ten percent of my weight… of awesome-ness. Therefore Logan and his what, one hundred pound brain is only two percent of my awesome-ness, I think. And people said I am bad at math.

"Sup my homie." Logan struts out minutes later, popping his collar. He shines his white teeth at Kendall and gives a flirtatious wink, making me so much more furious. And what is he wearing? The leather bomber, tight jean and Wayfarer sunglasses? Please. That is unoriginal, sweet little Logan. You basically copied my style. _STAY OUT OF MY CLOSET!_

"You think Carlos will like it?" He asks. _NO!_

"Umm, maybe." Kendall answers, eying up and down. He rubs his chin as if Logan is that good looking, which he isn't. "Carlos likes you just the way you are. Not saying you're ugly but Carlos likes guys that are natural and themselves." Kendall notices the glee slipping from the brain and quickly changes his answer. "But I think change is good. You look good!"

"Thanks Kendall!" Logan bounces to the front door. "I know Carlos will love me."

_Slam._ Finally again, Logan is out and Kendall and I are alone. I sigh contently, happily falling asleep to a picture of me and Kendall kissing. Kendall is so cute with his blonde hair and perfect jaw line, very important. I love a strong man and a jaw line is a sign of a strong man. Anyways, I am kissing him back. Kendall runs his smooth fingers through my short spike, whispering number and letters into the kiss. Weird, but whatever. He is kissing me. And he is wearing his plaid flannel shirt that I brought him and I am wearing a clean, pressed lab coat. Wait what! I don't have a lab coat. Only Logan has one and… Wait a minute.

I am picturing Logan kissing my man! That little weasel! First he coaxes my Kendall with math and letters and stuff. And now, his is invading my dreams too! No! This is unacceptable. I can't not let that little freak of Einstand or Alex or what the scientist's name is, steal my boyfriend. He already stole my swag. So he is not taking my Kendall. And what better way to take my Kendall back than with a taste of his own medicine. He tempted Kendall with my stolen swag; I will tempt Kendall with his stolen brain. That's right. James Diamond is going to be the brain tonight. The plan is fool proof.

"Hey Kendall." I rub my hand down his back, smirking at the deep concentrated look on his face. "Do you need help with your homework?"

"Nah, it's o…" He stops, noticing my ensemble. If Logan stole my style, he should have no problem if I stole his lab coat. "James, you're wearing Logan's lab coat."

"And my pair of glasses. Do I look like a hot T.A.?" I lean over the corner of the table, perch close to Kendall's nose, much closer than that nerd was.

"Oh, James. Yes you do but I have to finish my homework and it is due tomorrow."

"No problem. I can help you." I quickly swing a chair over to sit next to my hard working genius of a boyfriend. Twirling a pen in my hand, I read the question.

Function of x is 3x^2. What is delta F from 1 to 6? Hint: use the same frame work from class dealing with a macroscopic standpoint.

That's not a hint. That is just a headache inducing sentence but I can't let Kendall know I don't know. "So Kendall, this problem is really easy. There was no reason why you had to ask Logan for help." I scoff, shaking my head as if I knew the answer.

"Oh really, Jamie?" Kendall says, feigning surprise. "I guess being in mult-variables with Logan is no match for you in pre-calculus?"

"Exactly." I point the eraser end of the pencil at his cute nose. "The answer is quite simple. You add this and that times the answer by this and there you have it. The question is rather rudimentary."

"Rudimentary?" Kendall smirks, his eyebrows cock at me. Oh how he is so desirable. "When did my fashionable, "I hate school" boyfriend use big words like Logan?"

_God!_ I hate how he is referring to that turd. _Logan sucks!_ "I always use bigger words than Logan. Logan is not the only genius around here. Heck I don't think he is a smartypant like everyone thinks he is."

Kendall chuckles and gives me a quick peck on my cheek. "You're right. The question is quite easy James but you have to know basic calculus first like what is one cubed?"

"Ummm…" _Shoot!_ Kendall is going to figure out I am stupid. "Triangle?" I answer, noticing Kendall is resisting the urge to laugh.

"What is one times one times one?" Kendall asks again.

"One?" He turns my head to face his and presses a chaste kiss on my lips.

"For every answer you get right, I'll give you a kiss. Ok?" This I can agree to. "Ok James, what is six cubed?"

Thinking really hard, I still don't know the answer but Kendall is nodding his head as if he knows I will get it. "Is it six times six times six?"

"Yea that's how you get it but what is the answer?"

"Kendall, aren't for forgetting my kiss?" I whine. I did get it right, right? Kendall pecks my lips quickly, almost teasingly.

"The answer, James?"

Math is not my strongest subject but with that kiss, my brain is on fire. "Two hundred sixteen." He kisses me again. I guess I got the answer right. _Suck it Logan!_ _You're not the only smart one!_

"And what is two hundred sixteen minus one?" He whispers into my ear, his breath brushes against my lobe.

Quickly, I clamp my hands on his cheek and pull him into an unexpected kiss. "Two hundred fifteen kisses." I answer, showering him with more kiss, showing him I am a better kisser than Logan… not that he kissed Logan before but I know I am better.

"So James, When were you going to tell me you're jealous of Logan?" Kendall whispers into our kiss. _The nerve of him!_ We are making out and he is thinking about that little freak.

"I am not jealous. He is jealous of me!" I exclaim, crossing my arms. "I mean, he stole my swagger and he is stealing you. But beside that I am not jealous of the thief."

Kendall folds his hands over one of mine, stoking it gentle, calming me down. It feels soothing. I can just melt in his touch. "Is that why you stole his lab coat and pretended to teach me math?"

"Maybe." I murmur barely audibly, with a blush slash across my cheeks. "I thought you want a Logan so I had to be a Logan, no matter how geeky and unattractive he is."

Kendall bites his lower lip, holding in his burst of laughter. "James, you're not a very good Logan." He states, cracks of snickers escapes between his words, embarrassing me. I turn my head away but using one hand, he stops me. Gently caressing my cheek with that hand, he closes the small gap between us and lingers his lips on mine. Forgetting where I am, I close my eyes, falling into Kendall's sweet kiss.

With a loud pop, he pulls back, staring at my dazed face. "But you're my perfect James. I love you, swag-less or math impaired because I love my Jamie. Ok?" He says, continuing rubbing my cheek with his warm hand.

"Ok Kendy." I shortly replying, knowing Kendall is mine and only mine forever. "Only if you give me another kiss."

He smiles and starts leaning in until we hear a door slam against the wall.

"Car, Carlitos wait!" We turn our heads, seeing Carlos angrily stomps into the living room with fisted hands and a scowl. Logan following not so far behind with a desperate looking on his face tries to reach his boyfriend. "What did I do wrong?"

Carlos puffs his cheeks and crosses his arms. I giggle. Carlos is too cute to act or even remotely try to look angry. "You are not my Logie."

"Yes I am, just better looking." He pulls out a comb from his jacket pocket. Psh! Amateur. Everyone knows pros have their comb hidden in the back pant pocket.

"See?" He gives Carlos a crooked side smile.

Carlos rolls his eyes and walks around Logan to his room.

"Wa-wait Carlos! I can be any guy you want!" Logan turns around; Carlos already at his door.

"I want my nerdy Logie. You're not a very good James."

"Wait Carlos!" He frantically yells, ripping off his designer jacket and matting his hair into soft peaks. "See I can be boring and nerdy! I don't have to be James."

Slam, the door to the shorter members' room sounds. Kendall and James share an awkward expression before they burst on the floor laughing. They are holding their stomach, rolling and kicking their legs in a complete over the top laughter.

"I can't believe I was jealous of Logan!" I say, calming down and wiping the tear from my eyes.

Kendall exhales, his body heaving before he turns to face me with his gorgeous smile. He props his head on the palm of his hand, just staring at me if I have something on my hair.

"Kendall? You're freaking me out." I roll on my side, copying his body position. "Is there something on my face? A PIMPLE?"

"No James. I was just admiring you being you." I sigh. Thank God it wasn't ache or worst, a spider.

"Thanks Kendall. You're easy on the eyes too, not as easy as I am but you are a looker."

Kendall chuckles, wiggling closer to me. "Don't every change or be a Logan. You are the only guy for me." He gently gives me one more reassuring kiss, reminding who I am.

"I am not Logan."

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><p>HAHA Logie. Don't worry. I like smart people. ;]<p>

Btw, the question I used is supposed to be a lot harder with x, y, and z but I don't think high school math courses would deal with it so I had to dumb it down. I hope I didn't offend any math loving people. I can pm you the real problem if you want some fun lol. Math = fun ;].

Please review =]


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